My Princess Bamber has hit me with yet another thing to worry about. I know that worry is a sin but how do you not worry about your children. I have prayed almost everyday for the last three years that the values I have worked so hard to instill in her takes hold. I probably should back this up and explain the relationship that Bamber and I have. Bamber was my life. We did everything together. She was my best friend and I hers. Even through the teenage years we remained close. I did my best to make sure that she could explore everything her heart desired as I am doing for my son Bub now. That didn't me that she was spoiled rotten, it just means that if she showed interest in something I allowed her to explore. I sent her to Catholic schools to make sure that she was educated academically but also learned about God and Jesus. She never gave me any problems. Two weeks into the eleventh grade Bamber got mono. We didn't know what was wrong with her until two months later. After mono she slipped into what is called post mono depression. Her whole eleventh grade year was a total blurr. Things didn't seem right after that. She started moving more away from me. Her friends became more important. Now I know that this is part of growing up. I was OK with it. I can't say it didn't hurt like hell but I was OK with it. Bamber went on to graduate. By this time we spoke very little. She wanted to become her own person. Again, I new this was part of growing up. Things came to a head a week after her graduation party. Some type of blow up occured. I can't even tell you what it was about, I can only tell you that my Princess had left and did not speak to me for almost two years. That was the hardest time for me. I still cry today thinking about it. I prayed everyday "God just let her be OK and guide her!" She moved in with her boyfriend and his family and stayed in contact with my mother. My mother became the wedge between us, but that's another story for another time. Bamber did go to college as was planned and she got a job. She did well for herself. Bambers dream has always been to be a architect and interior designer. This dream started in elementary school. I could not be more happier to see her full fill that dream. One of the reason she picked the school that she is going to was because they offer a year in Italy to study design. I new this, but a part of me was hoping that she would change her mind and not go. Well, she just informed me the other night that she can apply to go to Italy starting in January 2011 for six months. I did my best to not sound like I didn't want her to go but deep down inside me I DON'T WANT HER TO GO! It feels like I just got her back just to loose her again. I'm scarred because of what could happen. Look at the college student who was just sentenced to 26 years for murder. I followed that story knowing that Bamber wanted to go there and study. How do I stop her from going? There is no one to talk to but God. Am I going to be strong enough to handle HIS plan? What if she is wanting me to tell her not to go? How do I know? Well, after writing this I gave it to God. I hope and pray that my eyes aren't clouded so much that I can't see His anwer. I wonder if they make a suitcase large enough for me & Bub to stow away in?
The two most important people in my life are my daughter Bamber or should I say Princess Bambalina as she was called growing up and who truly thought she was a princess and my son Bub who is so much like me that its scary. They are totally different in every way imaginable. There is almost eleven years between them. Bamber was the first granddaughter and I was the first sister to have a baby. I still remember that week in August. She just refused to come out. Labor started on Monday and they had to finally go in an get her on Friday. From that point on she just amazed me. She didn't care what anyone else thought. She was going to be her own person. She was so confident. I remember the first day of kindergarten when I sent her to school she had those cute little lace ankle socks on. She didn't really like them and she didn't want to wear them. I made her wear them. When I picked her up she had pulled the socks up so that the lace was now in the middle of her leg. The next day all the little girls had their socks pulled up around the middle of their legs. I knew then that I was in trouble. Bub on the other hand is the total opposite. He is very shy until he gets to know you. He struggles with his confidence. He questions everything about himself. He has the biggest heart imaginable. He constantly is thinking of others. I have watched my little boy give things to others all because he felt they needed them more then he did. Bub has two passions in life: motorcycles and playing football. We will just have to wait and see were he ends up.
Besides Daisies and the color puple I also have a fascination with dragonflys. You don't often see them but when you do they are simply amazing . I look at the dragonfly as a symbol for my family. Me being the long body section. The large wings being my daughter and the smaller wings my son.
Welcome to the adventures of the Lovely Purple Daisy. I weclome you to follow me down a whimsical if not yet twisting winding road, and join the adventures of the purple daisy. No I am not smoking crack I'm just typing the words of my firend Tiffany or should I say she took the keyboard two sentences ago. Somehow I think she has a totally different picture of me then I do.