My Color

My Personality color is a YELLOW ! How funny is that. A yellow

is the heart of society. They are loyal and loving, dependable, prepared and punctual. They value relationships above all else. They value home, family and tradition. They are emotional and supportive. They are pleaser's who avoid conflict at all costs. They are usually patient, great listeners and are warm and encouraging. They have difficulty being assertive. They are usually easy-going. They love peace and harmony and are the peacemaker within in a group, family and a work environment. They are the sunshine on a dark day. They are faithful and stable when emotionally healthy, and they have a natural ability to create safety within a relationship. They are slow-paced, easy going people pleaser's. They desire to serve and please with their only reward being one of appreciation.

I see a lot of myself in this description. I wonder if other see this too?

Falling hearts

Tomorrow becomes a sad day here in OHIO! One of my best friends is closing the chapter in her and her families life here in Ohio and moving back home to Mississippi. I can not shed a tear for this, not because I'm not sad but because this has always been the plan. This day has been talked about for as long as I have known Tiffany. God brings people in and out of your life for many reasons. He's not taking Tiffany away he just letting her live out the plan. How could one be sad about that. I know that I am not. I know that we will still remain friends and communicate often, we just wont be running to each other houses.

What does make me shed a tear is fact that I did not get to spend as much time as I wanted with her and her family. She was always on the go. Wanting to experience everything there was to experience. Bringing many families together to join her on her journey. Great friendships have been formed, bonds have been made, life time memories created. If she could do those things here in Ohio without family around just imagine what is in store for Mississippi. Tiffany, Hugh, Trey and Anna Grace I wish you all the best on this next chapter in your lives. I will think of you often and re-live the memories that were created here in Ohio and one day soon I will be visiting Mississippi.

Side note: While writing this I remembered a bus trip that I had taken with my daughter that had us on a bus ride through the state of Mississippi. I remember saying that I had to one day come back and get a closer look. I remember telling everyone that the state of Mississippi was my favorite state out the five we had been through. Maybe, just maybe this is what god has in my plan. Will have to wait and see!

AAUGH!!!!!

This cartoon is exactly how I feel right now. AA UGH!!! I'm struggling with these questions "Where do I go from here!", "What is God plan for me now?" "Am I hearing his words?" The balancing act that I am currently handling is taking its toll on me. Currently I am working and going to school to get my fourth and fifth certification, applying for teaching positions and taking care of all of Bubs end of the school year activities. I haven't seen or talked to friend in weeks. On average I am only sleeping three hours a night. Was this really how it was when I was working towards my teaching degree? How the hell did I make it through it. There has to be a better way to achieve my goals without going insaine. If anyone has a clue please let me know.

Princess Bambalina

My Princess Bamber has hit me with yet another thing to worry about. I know that worry is a sin but how do you not worry about your children. I have prayed almost everyday for the last three years that the values I have worked so hard to instill in her takes hold. I probably should back this up and explain the relationship that Bamber and I have. Bamber was my life. We did everything together. She was my best friend and I hers. Even through the teenage years we remained close. I did my best to make sure that she could explore everything her heart desired as I am doing for my son Bub now. That didn't me that she was spoiled rotten, it just means that if she showed interest in something I allowed her to explore. I sent her to Catholic schools to make sure that she was educated academically but also learned about God and Jesus. She never gave me any problems. Two weeks into the eleventh grade Bamber got mono. We didn't know what was wrong with her until two months later. After mono she slipped into what is called post mono depression. Her whole eleventh grade year was a total blurr. Things didn't seem right after that. She started moving more away from me. Her friends became more important. Now I know that this is part of growing up. I was OK with it. I can't say it didn't hurt like hell but I was OK with it. Bamber went on to graduate. By this time we spoke very little. She wanted to become her own person. Again, I new this was part of growing up. Things came to a head a week after her graduation party. Some type of blow up occured. I can't even tell you what it was about, I can only tell you that my Princess had left and did not speak to me for almost two years. That was the hardest time for me. I still cry today thinking about it. I prayed everyday "God just let her be OK and guide her!" She moved in with her boyfriend and his family and stayed in contact with my mother. My mother became the wedge between us, but that's another story for another time. Bamber did go to college as was planned and she got a job. She did well for herself. Bambers dream has always been to be a architect and interior designer. This dream started in elementary school. I could not be more happier to see her full fill that dream. One of the reason she picked the school that she is going to was because they offer a year in Italy to study design. I new this, but a part of me was hoping that she would change her mind and not go. Well, she just informed me the other night that she can apply to go to Italy starting in January 2011 for six months. I did my best to not sound like I didn't want her to go but deep down inside me I DON'T WANT HER TO GO! It feels like I just got her back just to loose her again. I'm scarred because of what could happen. Look at the college student who was just sentenced to 26 years for murder. I followed that story knowing that Bamber wanted to go there and study. How do I stop her from going? There is no one to talk to but God. Am I going to be strong enough to handle HIS plan? What if she is wanting me to tell her not to go? How do I know? Well, after writing this I gave it to God. I hope and pray that my eyes aren't clouded so much that I can't see His anwer. I wonder if they make a suitcase large enough for me & Bub to stow away in?

Bamber & Bub - The loves of my life.

The two most important people in my life are my daughter Bamber or should I say Princess Bambalina as she was called growing up and who truly thought she was a princess and my son Bub who is so much like me that its scary. They are totally different in every way imaginable. There is almost eleven years between them. Bamber was the first granddaughter and I was the first sister to have a baby. I still remember that week in August. She just refused to come out. Labor started on Monday and they had to finally go in an get her on Friday. From that point on she just amazed me. She didn't care what anyone else thought. She was going to be her own person. She was so confident. I remember the first day of kindergarten when I sent her to school she had those cute little lace ankle socks on. She didn't really like them and she didn't want to wear them. I made her wear them. When I picked her up she had pulled the socks up so that the lace was now in the middle of her leg. The next day all the little girls had their socks pulled up around the middle of their legs. I knew then that I was in trouble. Bub on the other hand is the total opposite. He is very shy until he gets to know you. He struggles with his confidence. He questions everything about himself. He has the biggest heart imaginable. He constantly is thinking of others. I have watched my little boy give things to others all because he felt they needed them more then he did. Bub has two passions in life: motorcycles and playing football. We will just have to wait and see were he ends up.

Dragonflys

Besides Daisies and the color puple I also have a fascination with dragonflys. You don't often see them but when you do they are simply amazing . I look at the dragonfly as a symbol for my family. Me being the long body section. The large wings being my daughter and the smaller wings my son.

The Beginnng of the Lovely Purple Daisy.

Welcome to the adventures of the Lovely Purple Daisy. I weclome you to follow me down a whimsical if not yet twisting winding road, and join the adventures of the purple daisy. No I am not smoking crack I'm just typing the words of my firend Tiffany or should I say she took the keyboard two sentences ago. Somehow I think she has a totally different picture of me then I do.